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- C-Felony Murder

Free cover tonight!

Ok, so that's a cheap trick to get you to read this new post that has nothing to do with paying/not paying $5 to get into a bar that is too crowded/loud to have fun/enough drinks in. With it being St. Patrick's Day, though, I figured there would be some expectation for pub-related titles.

This post, however, is about covers, though. Covers of the musical variety, and covers of a musical giant, no less. As I was listening to the iTunes recently, I think what has become my favorite cover song of the moment came up: Stevie Wonder's "We Can Work It Out".

Now, you've got two things going against you here:

1. No one should really cover The Beatles, right? I mean, they pretty much got it right the first time around. To me, they're an entirely un-fuckwitable band. Plus, "We Can Work It Out" was one of those perfectly blended Lennon-McCartney gems, to wit:

• Paul writing the verses, John getting in there on the chorus/bridge with some sweet harmonies;
  
• an inordinate amount of harmonium (the thing that sounds like an accordion) that does not sound cheesy (even 40 years later);
• the song is in 3 bar phrases, instead of 4 bar phrases, giving it a totally different feel than most pop-songs;
  
• those 2 bars of quarter-note triplets that end each phrase of the chorus/bridge that sound like they're in 3/4 (because the tambourine plays the 2nd and 3rd triplet like they've become quarter notes), but aren't;
  
• the song was a double A-side with "Day Tripper", and it went to Number 1 quickly.

2. Stevie Wonder is pretty un-fuckwitable himself, so what's he doing covering somebody else's song? Especially one as popular as "We Can Work It Out"?

Well, let me assure you, these two factors are quite diminished in the resulting cover:



Yeah. That's pretty great, right? Some highlights for me (this might get a little technical...):

• the opening fuzzy clavinet/electric piano...you know you're in for something funky, ya'll;
  
• the "Hey!"s on beat 4 of the first and last bar of each phrase of the verses. Reminiscent of all those current hip-hop songs that have the annoying "Heeeey" in the background (see also, T.I.'s "Live Your Life", most Lil' Jon club bangers);
• the fact the he starts the "We can work it out" line on the '&' of 4, and not the next downbeat like Paul did;
• the fact that Steven Wonderland forgoes the quarter-note triplet-not-3/4 bars and keeps it straight ahead;
• the incredibly high parts that Stevie is singing in the harmony, bridge, and the harmonica solo (those, "ah - ah - ah" parts)!;
• the harmonica solo itself;
• the general badassery of the Motown sound and backing band ('nuff said).

So, yeah, Stevie got it right. And it earned him a Grammy nomination.


"No big deal that I didn't win this time, I've got 25 others." - Stevie Wonder

Are there other good Beatles covers, you might ask? Not many. Again, I think trying to cover the Beatles is pretty pointless - if you stray too far from the original, people won't like it because it's not like the one they know; if you just try to play it like the Beatles play it, then people won't like it because they'd rather listen to the Beatles version. Catch-22, indeed.

A couple that I dig, though:


Rufus Wainwirght, "Across The Universe"


This one works because Rufus Wainwright is a good singer already, and he has taken the more direct approach on this cover. I also love the fact that he added harmony to the second chorus and subsequent verses (probably his mom, Kate McGarrigle singing). [*note: I had never seen this video before...not sure about the Rene Magritte imagery (see, "Le Fils De L'Homme"), but is that Dakota Fanning? Somebody (the director) certainly has a hard-on for French art!]

another:

Ramsey Lewis, "Cry Baby Cry"


This one works because it is a departure from the original, but then it's not. It's familiar, but doesn't get too out there to still be the song you know (how 'bout that vibra-slap!)? Plus, soul jazz usually doesn't come out this good (the string arrangements are great, and the drums stay hard). Ramsey recorded a whole album of Beatles' covers called, "Mother Nature's Son", and it's worth checking out.

one more?

William Shatner, "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds"


This is not a joke. This is real. Musicians were hired, producers sat at the controls, marketing execs had the album distributed. Money was spent. Oh, what a time 1967 must have been.

The worst? Maybe this:



That's Kylie Minogue, singing "Help!" at a concert for John Lennon. Why Milli and Vanilli are up there dancing so close to her is unknown. Why the concert promoter decided to get Kylie Minogue to do this embarrassing version of a pretty great song is further unknown. The rapping bridge had to be included, however, to complete the affront to a musical legacy that this is. I think the inclusion of a dance break is pretty obvious, too.

So, that's just a sampling of what's out there. Be careful on your journey through Beatles cover songs, for every Aimee Mann/Michael Penn "Two of Us", there's usually twice as many Bee Gees "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" original motion picture soundtrack cuts.

Finally! Music Ed. and Funky Soul gets its due!

This is amazing news:



There is a documentary coming out about the Kashmere Stage Band!

Who is the Kashmere Stage Band, you ask? This was the high school jazz band at Kashmere High in Houston, Texas that performed from the late 60s to 1978. The director, Conrad Johnson basically taught these kids how to be a funk band...and the results were incredible! Seriously, before I knew these kids were in high school, I figured they were pros.

As a result of their badassery, Johnson had them record a number of 7" singles and 12" albums.

Once these masters were rediscovered, it didn't take long for DJs and crate diggers (like DJ Shadow, in particular) to get in on the action.

Check out the following:



This is from 1973, and was famously sampled in "Holy Calamity" by Handsome Boy Modeling School. High school drummer on this = fantastic.



Their cover of Dennis Coffey's "Scorpio". More breakdown niceties (maybe a little loose on those sextuplets, this time, but the flute solo is a welcome surprise).



Their cover of Sly & the Family Stone's "Thank You". A little on the front of the beat, and the percussion break almost falls apart, but nice guitar work.



The Kashmere Stage Band as sampled by DJ Shadow and Dan the Automator.

So yeah, that's a high school band.

Don't know when the movie comes out, but check out a review over at http://www.aintitcool.com/node/44272

Celebrity Death Text, #3

from Nate Eppler:


"Over, Under. Under, Done."

This is reprehensible.

Ok, I don't get offended easily. It's true, I try to keep things "above board" most of the time, but I'm not actually offended by a lot of what people say. I'm a firm supporter of the 1st Amendment (it comes first you know, so it's probably pretty important), and though I don't like what you say, I support your right to say it (unless it's about my Mom, and then we've got problems).

So the other day, as I'm tooling about (and I do mean, "tool"), I was listening to the radio. It was great hearing Top 40 music again (Memphis doesn't seem to have those stations readily available), and I stopped on 101.1 The Beat Jamz, I think, to hear:

"Whee-ooo-Whee-ooowhee, Whee-ooo-Whee-ooowhee/like a cop car..."

What's this? Onomatopoeic introduction to what should prove to be a sufficiently hilarious R&B/hip-hop song. I'll stick around. It continues:

"When I get up all in ya/ We can hear the angels calling us"

Ok, that's pretty silly, and that it's whisper-ey singing makes it that much more ridiculous. Does any woman out there want to hear "going up in ya" compared to the "angels calling us"? Maybe female fans of Bullet Boys?


The original "Smooth Up In Ya" operators.

So, it turns out this is Bobby Valentino, some shitty singer that rappers hire to flesh out (pun intended) their mediocre songs that suburban white kids will flock to with their wallets out.



Bobby Valentino: Successfully sings about cop-sex and makes pants out of picnic table-cloths.

As I continue listening to this song, it goes on and on with the cop-sex metaphors and similes, complete with pretty terrible rapping provided by Lil' Wayne. Now, I'm not a huge fan of Weezy, but I know a lot of people are, so I'll give it a chance.
As we move through the song, here are some highlights:

"Doin a buck in the latest drop/
I got stopped by a lady cop/
Ha Ha... she got me thinking I can date a cop/
Ha Ha... cause her uniform pants are so tight/
She read me my rights" [nice reference to Miranda v. Arizona 384 U.S. 436 (1966)]

and -

"And she know I'm raw, she know it from the street/
And all she want me to do is f**k the police" [nice reference to NWA's Stright Outta Compton album, Priority Records 0499-2-57112-2-6 (1988)]

and -

"And I beat it like a cop/
Rodney King baby yeah I beat it like a cop/
Ha Haaa... beat it like a cop/
Rodney King baby said beat it like a cop"

What the f**k? Did he just say "I beat it like a cop/Rodney King, baby, yeah, I beat it like a cop"?!!

Yeah, he did say that.

I don't care how much weed you smoke and how much sizzurp you sip on a daily basis, I don't think anyone thinks it's ok in 2010 (or any other year for that matter) to compare having sex with a cop (or the fantasy of that) with beating Rodney King. Taking one of the most horrific events of police brutality and turning it into a sexual simile is offensive, and downright reprehensible. I am offended by this.


No cop-sex for you in the joint, Weezy. Keep an eye out in the shower, though.

Maybe Mr. Carter was not really aware of what was going on in our country in 1991 and 1992, but the King videotape, the sham trial of the officers, the resulting riots, the destruction of those riots, and the slow healing of the city of LA and our country was the polarizing event of the day and for the hip-hop movement. The events surrounding that time period have influenced and informed hip-hop from then until now. This was the first time the whole of America got to see what all that "dramatized gangster rap" was talking about. The whole genre went from being attacked on Donahue and Oprah as inciting violence to the nightly news where you saw the brutality of the LAPD first hand. Now, the resulting riots didn't really help gangster rap's reputation for a while, but people did take notice.

And let's be honest, whether you buy the "resisting arrest" defense of the officers that beat King to a pulp or not, the video is horrific to watch. These guys are getting enjoyment out of beating a helpless motorist.

If you can stomach it, here is that video:



As a result, Mr. Lil' Wayne Carter has completely destroyed that legacy by calling out Rodney King in his ridiculous cop-sex fantasy song, "Mrs. Officer". I really can't believe the record company would allow that to get out, and I can't believe I haven't heard any criticism of it from the public. If someone came out with a song that had the line:

"I'm a shoot like Oswald, yeah, from the 6th floor/
blow your mind like you JFK, f**ckin' on the floor"

I bet there would be angry calls, protests, and a special on MSNBC within minutes of it hitting iTunes.

Here's the video from youtube, please bootleg it and the song so they won't make any money from it and this will stop right now:

You know how I know you're gay...

1991 masterpiece - Point Break


I was recently having a discussion with a friend of mine about movies on TV (TNT specifically, I think), and the inevitable title came up:
Point Break.

Now, those regular readers surely know the story of Point Break and its relative cinematic greatness. For the uninitiated, here's a quick run down.

Keanu Reeves (undercover FBI bank robbing expert) + Gary Busey (wisened/conspiracy buff FBI agent from the late 60s) + Lori Petty (forgettable, yet androgynous, love interest) + Patrick Swayze (Spiritual leader surfing bank robber) = action, surfing, skydiving, and the most blatantly homoerotic film to be invisibly homoerotic to millions of viewers.

What's that last part, again? Point Break is gay?

That's right, people (and Joe Hobbs, specifically), Point Break is gayer than that gay-ass volleyball scene in Top Gun.

I know it may seem incredible, but there may not be a better example of movies that have this man-to-man love story embedded in it. To be certain, many (like MANY) cop movies have this same theme.

• For example, just about every cop movie from the 80s/90s forward has one relentless cop in pursuit of the ultimate bad guy:
  
• This cop will stop at nothing to catch that villain.
  
• This cop probably has an estranged wife/girlfriend or a failed marriage because of his devotion to his job.
  
• And I bet he spends a lot of time in the movie marveling at how clever, ruthless, and successful this villain is (i.e. sexy).
  
• When the two finally meet, it's like love at first sight. There is a mutual respect for one another, because they are two sides of the same coin (i.e. soul mates).
  
• I bet there's even some dialog between the two like: "I'm gonna get your ass!" or "I'm gonna fuck you!" or even "I'm gonna fuck your ass!" [and if you don't believe me or think I'm exaggerating, just check out Lethal Weapon 2].
• Some movies even take the above concept so far as to give this super villain the biggest gun (!), which the super cop covets (envies), and then basically when the two meet in the end, they duel with their guns (tummy sticks) and the winner pretty much screws the loser to death.

Point is, homoeroticism in the cop/action genre is nothing new. What was new with Point Break is how obvious they made it!
Let's run down a few things:

• Patrick Swayze's character's name is "Bodhi". Now, I know that Bodhi is short for Bodhisattva, and that makes him a spiritual leader, but c'mon...Bodhi=Body, and he spends enough time in the movie with his shirt off to make this a legitimate claim. Along with that, Keanu Reeves spends enough time in the moving staring at Partick Swayze's shirtless body that it's not that big of a stretch at all.

Bodhisattva don't surf - or look like Patrick Swayze.

• Lori Petty's character, "Tyler", is an androgynous outsider that Johnny Utah has to ingratiate himself with to get inside the surfing world. She looks like a boy and her name is Tyler. That's pretty obvious, too, is it not?
  

Even in the movie's "sex scene", Lori Petty looks like a dude named "Tyler".

• Keanu Reeves character, Johnny Utah, is a former college athlete that got hurt and couldn't go pro (i.e. failed masculinity) so he became an FBI agent and pursues bank robbers (trading in the masculinity of football for the masculinity of a badge and gun).

"Whoa." - every Keanu Reeves reaction. Ever.

• Reeves and Swayze are far too good looking (better than Lori Petty and Gary Busey, for sure) to not fall for each other.

Blow Dried v. The Wet Look - you trying to tell me that's not gay?

• Why do Bodhi and Utah fall in love anyway? Bodhi is attracted to Utah's naivete, athletic prowess, and impressionable character when it comes to surfing/life (I think that makes Bodhi the "top" or "pitcher"). Utah is attracted to Bodhi's graceful control of the water, his athleticism, and overall, his love and perceived mastery of risky behavior (like surfing, bank robbing, night football, and skydiving). So that would make Utah a "bottom" or "catcher".

I believe I can fly - with the help of Patrick Swayze.

Now, there are some specific moments in Point Break that illustrate it's homoeroticism better than I could ever hope to do if I was screenwriter W. Peter Iliff:

• countless looks of longing from Utah to Bodhi, from Tyler to Bodhi or Utah, and from Bodhi to Utah creating a most interesting love triangle.

"Looking at things is good acting." - Steven Spielberg

• the scene where Utah is chasing Bodhi from a bank robbery, but Utah's knee gives out (oh, that masculinity failure again!) and Bodhi escapes. Before Bodhi escapes, he turns in his Reagan mask (veiled AIDS-era reference?) and looks Johnny deep in the eyes, and Utah looks back a penetrating (no pun intended) look. Johnny knows the bank robber is Bodhi, Bodhi knows he has betrayed his love for Utah. And what happens next? Utah can't shoot Bodhi - he lets him escape. Then, after the act (here, an apprehension) isn't consummated (again with that failure in masculinity), Johnny Utah unloads his gun into the air (empties his government-issue phallus, that is) and screams in agony/ecstasy for an uncomfortably long amount of screen time.

"AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" - Keanu Reeves

• the scene in the plane where Bodhi leaves with the only parachute and tells Johnny "I know you want me so bad it's like acid in your mouth." [author's note: I remember laughing out loud the first time I saw this scene...I could not believe they got away with that!].
• continuing the above scene, Utah succumbs to his riskier side (masculinity coming back, I see) and follows Bodhi out the plane. They tussle in the sky for a minute or two (becoming intertwined, I might add), and once the parachute opens, they land on the ground and writhe under the chute (sheet) and moan in agony/ecstasy for an uncomfortably long amount of screen time. Pretty easy to make the argument that this stands in for a sex scene between the two.

I told you Swayze was the pitcher.

• Finally, at the end of the film, with the impending arrest of Bodhi at Bell's Beach in Australia, Johnny Utah does not apprehend him, but let's him go, into the biggest wave in cinematic history. Two interpretations here, I think: 1) if you love something, set it free; and 2) Utah allows Bodhi to continue his high-risk behavior (AIDS, anyone?) and chooses to no longer be a part of it, thus Bodhi is consumed by the wave (the physical manifestation of AIDS, perhaps) [thanks to my brother, Nate, for this interpretation].

"You wanna go back to my place?"

And there are others.
The point is (see what I did there?), that it's not that much of a stretch to see this film through that lens. It's also not much of a surprise.

Now, this doesn't mean you're gay if you like Point Break, and it doesn't mean you're straight if you don't. It just makes a seemingly innocuous Keanu Reeves vehicle a lot more interesting. So next time it's on TNT, make sure you check it out. You'll at least laugh out loud when you see these things so much more obviously.

Celebrity Death Text #2

Lost Boy.