This is reprehensible.

Ok, I don't get offended easily. It's true, I try to keep things "above board" most of the time, but I'm not actually offended by a lot of what people say. I'm a firm supporter of the 1st Amendment (it comes first you know, so it's probably pretty important), and though I don't like what you say, I support your right to say it (unless it's about my Mom, and then we've got problems).

So the other day, as I'm tooling about (and I do mean, "tool"), I was listening to the radio. It was great hearing Top 40 music again (Memphis doesn't seem to have those stations readily available), and I stopped on 101.1 The Beat Jamz, I think, to hear:

"Whee-ooo-Whee-ooowhee, Whee-ooo-Whee-ooowhee/like a cop car..."

What's this? Onomatopoeic introduction to what should prove to be a sufficiently hilarious R&B/hip-hop song. I'll stick around. It continues:

"When I get up all in ya/ We can hear the angels calling us"

Ok, that's pretty silly, and that it's whisper-ey singing makes it that much more ridiculous. Does any woman out there want to hear "going up in ya" compared to the "angels calling us"? Maybe female fans of Bullet Boys?


The original "Smooth Up In Ya" operators.

So, it turns out this is Bobby Valentino, some shitty singer that rappers hire to flesh out (pun intended) their mediocre songs that suburban white kids will flock to with their wallets out.



Bobby Valentino: Successfully sings about cop-sex and makes pants out of picnic table-cloths.

As I continue listening to this song, it goes on and on with the cop-sex metaphors and similes, complete with pretty terrible rapping provided by Lil' Wayne. Now, I'm not a huge fan of Weezy, but I know a lot of people are, so I'll give it a chance.
As we move through the song, here are some highlights:

"Doin a buck in the latest drop/
I got stopped by a lady cop/
Ha Ha... she got me thinking I can date a cop/
Ha Ha... cause her uniform pants are so tight/
She read me my rights" [nice reference to Miranda v. Arizona 384 U.S. 436 (1966)]

and -

"And she know I'm raw, she know it from the street/
And all she want me to do is f**k the police" [nice reference to NWA's Stright Outta Compton album, Priority Records 0499-2-57112-2-6 (1988)]

and -

"And I beat it like a cop/
Rodney King baby yeah I beat it like a cop/
Ha Haaa... beat it like a cop/
Rodney King baby said beat it like a cop"

What the f**k? Did he just say "I beat it like a cop/Rodney King, baby, yeah, I beat it like a cop"?!!

Yeah, he did say that.

I don't care how much weed you smoke and how much sizzurp you sip on a daily basis, I don't think anyone thinks it's ok in 2010 (or any other year for that matter) to compare having sex with a cop (or the fantasy of that) with beating Rodney King. Taking one of the most horrific events of police brutality and turning it into a sexual simile is offensive, and downright reprehensible. I am offended by this.


No cop-sex for you in the joint, Weezy. Keep an eye out in the shower, though.

Maybe Mr. Carter was not really aware of what was going on in our country in 1991 and 1992, but the King videotape, the sham trial of the officers, the resulting riots, the destruction of those riots, and the slow healing of the city of LA and our country was the polarizing event of the day and for the hip-hop movement. The events surrounding that time period have influenced and informed hip-hop from then until now. This was the first time the whole of America got to see what all that "dramatized gangster rap" was talking about. The whole genre went from being attacked on Donahue and Oprah as inciting violence to the nightly news where you saw the brutality of the LAPD first hand. Now, the resulting riots didn't really help gangster rap's reputation for a while, but people did take notice.

And let's be honest, whether you buy the "resisting arrest" defense of the officers that beat King to a pulp or not, the video is horrific to watch. These guys are getting enjoyment out of beating a helpless motorist.

If you can stomach it, here is that video:



As a result, Mr. Lil' Wayne Carter has completely destroyed that legacy by calling out Rodney King in his ridiculous cop-sex fantasy song, "Mrs. Officer". I really can't believe the record company would allow that to get out, and I can't believe I haven't heard any criticism of it from the public. If someone came out with a song that had the line:

"I'm a shoot like Oswald, yeah, from the 6th floor/
blow your mind like you JFK, f**ckin' on the floor"

I bet there would be angry calls, protests, and a special on MSNBC within minutes of it hitting iTunes.

Here's the video from youtube, please bootleg it and the song so they won't make any money from it and this will stop right now: