Oh white people...

I recently received this link from a friend of mine:
http://www.catsandbeer.com/music/the-top-10-rap-songs-white-people-love

I don't know much about the reputation of a website called "Cats and Beer", though I reckon they don't specialize is veterinary "medicines", but I do know about the other two things mentioned in this link:
1. Rap Songs
2. White People

I was certainly intrigued (as I love lists, usually hate the rap that white people love, and click anything in front of me), so I headed on over.

Luckily for me, it was a list populated with songs going back much further than the current dismal state of hip-hop. I could go on (and I probably will soon) about the current state of hip-hop and how it has devolved from a striking new art form into incessant Jay-Z car waxing/material wealth centrism/club banger-only style hooks (enough of the "hey!" on beat 3 of every bar in the background, please)/derivative music. It's pretty disappointing really. Hip-hop used to be so great...but again that's a post for another time.

So onto the list. I will reprint their list, from 10 to 1, and add my comments. Also, take the time to watch the videos, you might enjoy yourself!

#10 - Positive K - I Got a Man

• I'm pretty surprised this made the list. I remember seeing this video pretty much every week on Yo! MTV Raps from 1992 on, but I wouldn't think other typical white folks (who this list is written about) would have liked it...although it does empower women with its, "What's your man got to do with me?" lines.
• Positive K is not a great rapper, but he sure can wear a sweet day-glo wind breaker! He named the album this appeared on The Skills to Pay the Bills...how long before your utilities were cut off, K?
  
  
  
  

#9 - Digital Underground - The Humpty Dance

• First off, this should be #1 or #2 on a list of hip hop songs white people like. I think 90% of us can at least quote a few lines after "All right, stop watcha doin'...".
  
• Secondly, if a DJ puts this song on at a place white people frequent (like a dance club with "Ugly" in the name, a coffee shop, a library, a bowling alley, or a wedding), the worst in white dancing will ensue (don't bite your lower lip too hard, now!). It's like cheating in the DJ world.
• Last, if you happen to see my rendition of this at a karaoke bar, your life might be changed a little.
  
  
  
  

#8 - Biz Markie - Just A Friend

• Again, this is a weird one. I think it deserves inclusion because white folks have heard the chorus, combined with Biz's "knack" for singing, a like the combination.
  
• I'm pretty sure it's not on the list because a) kids in the 'burbs bought the album; b) there's a battalion of underground Biz-heads; or c) people love the Freddie Scott sample.
• This wouldn't make my list. 'nuff said.

#7 - Young MC - Bust a Move

• I agree with this one. Maybe it could have been higher...it was pretty damn popular, and with the inclusion of Flea (stuffed-animal-pantsed Flea that is, like Mother's Milk era), this gave white people a way in to understanding that Young MC was reaching out for equality. It makes white folks feel good to know the rap they listen to transcends the race barrier, right? Or was it because Young MC just raps so fast and talks about stuff I know about? (i.e. "tell a funny joke just to get some play/then you try to make a move and she says no way").
• Excellent use of the drum break from "Scorpio".
• And, is it just me, or does the back up dancer in the vid with the "Body Glove" spandex shorts look a lot like the girl that played Vanessa Huxtable's fast talking friend Kara on The Cosby Show? This question has plagued me for years...turns out her name is Elizabeth Narvaez-Scott, thanks Google! Now next time she googles herself, my blog will come up. You're welcome, Elizabeth.
  

#6 - Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock - It Takes Two

• Now you're talkin'! This list must have been compiled by someone in my age group. If you ever went to a skating rink between 1986 and...hell, maybe today, you've probably heard this one. I think they are right that whiteys dig this, and probably just for the opening line of "I wanna rock right now".
  
• White people tend to like lines with "rock" in it (see also: "We Will Rock You", "I Wanna Rock", "Rock You Like a Hurricane", "Rock Around the Clock", "We Built This City on Rock and Roll"...scratch that last one, no one likes "We Built This City").

#5 - Naughty By Nature - Hip Hop Hooray

• A bold choice, Catsandbeer.com. If I were making the list, I would most assuredly pick "O.P.P." as a representative early 90s, east-coast club anthem. But they've done me one better and gone with the second (maybe third? if you count "Ghetto Bastard" or "Uptown Anthem") hit for ol' Naughty By Nature.
  
• I agree this is a good song, and it has the feature that whities love: an easily memorizable/sing-back-able chorus that you can wave your arms to while downing buckets of Rolling Rock, jello shooters, and "just getting crazy" with tattered ball caps and sorority girls on Thirsty Thursdays at your local waterin'/shit-talkin' hole.

#4 - Tag Team - Whoomp! (There It Is)

• Whether I like it or not, this deserves to be on the list. How many girls in your sophomore class made up a dance to this that they wanted to teach everyone at the school dance? Too many to mention.
• Interesting side note, Tag Team's tour manager/lawyer was my Copyright Law teacher at Belmont back in 1998. I guess Tag Team's success didn't last...why would that be?
  

#3 - Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby

• It was inevitable, and as much as it pains me, this is properly included. I certainly can remember it being very important to me that I learn the words to this song. Oh, 1991, where have you gone?
• If you missed it on its first go-round, then you probably can't appreciate how big of a hit this was. Now, don't get me wrong, it was almost immediately dropped to ironic status after, but initially Robert Van Winkle was treated like the "great-white-hope" for rap music. Maybe this was because hip-hop was one musical art forms that became popular without it being stolen by whites first?

#2 - House of Pain - Jump Around

• Again, I've got to give it to catsandbeer.com, this should be on the list. I would not put it ahead of "Ice Ice Baby" though.
• Well, maybe I might given that this is another DJ cheat...I mean when you hear the bagpipes at the beginning how many of us don't instinctively act like a frat a boy and start the "awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww yeah..." crescendo? Guilty.
  
• Plus it allows (nay, implores!) white dancing without technique - just jump around, you ninnies!
• I do kind of like the song though..."don't try to play me out, as if my name was Sega".
  
  
  
  this is what they had in mind, right?
  

and finally, we come to their #1...

#1 - Sir Mix-A-Lot - Baby Got Back

• I think this is right on. Again, the premise of this song got white people's ear (c'mon, it is a little ridiculous when you hear this on the radio...but it worked, my God did it work!), and then the unabashed approach got them hooked.
  
• I would agree with catsandbeer.com that if you go to a karaoke and they only have one hip-hop number, this will be it.
• My personal highlights of this song are the whip cracks - proof that Mix-A-Lot is in on the joke.

I rest my case.

So that wraps up their list. I think my list (again, for what white people in general would love) would have to include "Nuthin' But a G Thang" or "Gin and Juice" (yet not "Trap Goin Ham"), but this one was pretty good.